As women we often find ourselves wearing many hats, capes, coats, and mask. We are always the one who’s fixing, taking, cooking and just making the lives of others around us a better place to live. We often forget about ourselves and our own self-care (is that a real thing?). We use up all of our minutes in a day pouring into everyone else that we leave ourselves depleted and or empty. My question to you is, who’s going to fill you up at the end of your day? How are you loving yourself? What is your self-care regiment? Do you have one or do you even know what that is?
It took me years to understand what self-care means and to not have guilt attached to it. My journey began with me learning to say no to things I did not want to do. Of course, the people that I started saying no to gave me all kinds of side-eye realness and told me that I was being selfish. I would walk away feeling guilty and I’d go back on my word. During this time I felt guilt on both sides…but what hurt me the most was that I did not keep my word to myself. I did not protect and honor the commitment that I had made with myself to care for myself.
It wasn’t until I got serious with my “NO” that I felt empowered. I would stand in my mirror and say the word “NO” and see how it made me feel. I would say it over and over again until it felt right and I was sure about it. I needed my ”NO” to be stern and sure for when I said it to people they would get it, understand it and not question it at all. After all of my practice sessions with myself, my stern and powerful “No”, I was ready to face the world.
Off I went into the wild blue yonder…(all that really means is that I was answering my phone again) lol. I began using my new super power and said “NO” to everything that I did not want to do and I did not do it. To my surprise, when I became clear and sure of my NO, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be to stick to it, but what was more profound than anything else was that the people in my life that I said no to, after a few question without any answers (remember, my no was just that, no) they fell right into place once I became clear of my time and my self-care.
Saying “NO” is not being selfish, it’s being self-aware, aware of the fact that your time is yours to do with it what you want to do without judgment. It is your right to say NO just because you can and not have any guilty feelings about taking care of yourself.
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